Monday, December 6, 2010

Dusty Video Box Presents: Neutron!

I'm not a sports fan. There...I said it. One of the basest requirements for most people in America, it seems, is that you have to automatically love sports. I'll have some random guy coming up to me, asking about the score to some random game centered around teams that I don't know, and wouldn't give Harvey Dent's two-headed coin to care about. Or you'll have everyone gossiping about the latest Football or Basketball game or star...and that's the limit of their character; it would be like me talking about my love for Women-In-Prison flicks, and only my WIP flick love. What grinds my gears the most, is this brainwashed mass thinks that if you don't love sports, something is wrong with you. I've had one of my best friends say that you're not a man if you're not into sports...or some outrageous nonsense like that.

Then, these morons want to ridicule my love of superhero comics and anime, as if their uber-fanboyish mannerisms and behavior is the epitome of civilization. Really? That anime fan in the Naruto headband and the Bleach costume? He's exactly the same as the Cowboy fan in the store-bought jersey and matching face paint. But I digress. The main point of this post is because, while I don't like Basketball and Football...i do love Pro Wrestling. While Pro-Wrestling is preplanned(these guys and girls literally bleed and bruise for fans. I adamantly refuse to call it "fake"), it is a contest between humans. What draws me to WWE and TNA is probably the concept of men and women in a struggle between good and evil, something shared with various comics, anime, and soap-opera shows. These various characters are often exaggerated beyond human norm, with the combat between them increased to superhuman levels as well. How else can you explain why a person will lay stunned for so long for The People's Elbow(thanks to siranunei for clip)?

I might not dig Joe Madden, but I've collected the Playstation's THQ's Smackdown and later Smackdown Versus Raw video game series for years. Thus, in preparation for the latest iteration of the title, which I don't have the money to afford yet, I'm going to tell you about one of my trademark characters, Neutron. It's a little tradition I have, dating back to the very first Smackdown game on PS1. Originally, her name was Extreme Saiyan. Back then, I had discovered anime, and, high on late-night Toonami Dragonball Z, named her after the race in which main protagonist Son Goku is part of. However, I think it was either my brother, or one of my best friends, that said that she did not look the part...and yeah, they were right. After all, she had Lita's head, not the spikey tresses of the Saiyan.

By the time I recieved Smackdown: Shut Your Mouth, I had rechristened her Neutron. Her wrestling/fighting style was a mixture of martial artists(like Xpac, Ultimo Dragon, Tajiri), luchador(Rey Mysterio, the Hardy Boys), and a few Japanese-wrestling moves(like the Michinoku Driver). Since the games would change over the years, some moves were taken out, and I would have to use substitutions. But with every new game I get, the first is always the creation of Neutron. She has been a six-time World Heavyweight Champion(back when you could "trick" the games into making her "male" to fight guys, instead of now(from 2007 onward) where girls fight girls, guys fight guys), and recently is/was both Divas and Women Champion.

I wish I could post pictures of her design, but basically...picture a scantily-clad Asian chick with silver hair, slender, with various tattoos and one or two piercings. Her backstory goes like this: she was kidnapped into sexual slavery, and taken to Europe, where she was initially a prostitute. However, she was soon taken under the wing of a madam who was a martial artist and wrestling fan, who trained her to fight. After months of training, the two escaped their captors, and went initally to Mexico(clip thanks to herbert43), because the madam thought Neutron would make a great female wrestler. She was right...Neutron became famous in Mexico, and then toured Japan,(clip thanks to DoubleMiz) where she trained and wrestled as well. She was scouted by the WWE when she went to the UK.

What I'm thinking about doing is, after I purchase the latest game, I'm going to put together a step-by-step guide on creating your own Neutron. But until then, here are some signature and the finisher that Neutron employs in the various previous games:

Signature Moves:

  1. Red Light Rush(Buzzsaw Rush, followed immediately by Ultimo Dragon's Kick Combo): A barrage of lightning fast punches and kicks, ending in a spinning heel kick)

  2. Seven Veil Poledance(Multiple Kicks in Ring Corner(ala Xpac), followed by a backward flip(Taunt), and Footstepping in lower corner)

  3. Kerb Crawler(Extreme Twist of Fate, followed by Flipping Leg Drop on downed opponent)


  1. Cresent Kick: Basically, its a Superkick. What makes it special is Neutron's giant platform sandals. I haven't gotten it the way I imagine it in my head, where, similar to HBK, she would daze an opponent, walk to the other ring post facing the guy, do a charging-up motion(similar to characters in anime), and kick her opponent in the face. But, have to work with what I have. Originally, this was just a warm-up move to the Cresent Slam, but I decided to keep this as the finisher. This is basically her RKO, her Attitude Adjustment, her People's Elbow.

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