Sunday, August 9, 2009

Missed Opportunities: Maggie Q and the Balls of Fury

Rogue Pictures' 2007's Balls of Fury was certainly not a film to write home about. Neither was it a film that made for great water-cooler conversation with your office co-workers. In all honesty, it is a past-timer film, a movie one slaps into the DVD player when he or she has absolutely NOTHING to do...which in this day and age, for 99% of us, is impossible. There are always better movies to watch, for example...or better books to read...of jobs to go to...or spouses to enjoy(or detest*shrugs*). Essentially, this film, starring Dan Folger as main protaganist Randy Daytona, isn't really memorable for me except for one single, lonely reason:

Maggie Q in Red Mandarin Dress.

The film itself riffs the legendary Bruce Lee epic, Enter The Dragon, telling the story about Randy Daytona, the greatest ping-pong player of all time, who, as a kid, was involved in a vital ping-pong match at the 1988 Olympics. However, things go South, young Daytona leaves in disgrace, and years later, is working in Reno, Nevada as part of a magic act. Soon, he is recruited by a FBI agent(George Lopez) to infiltrate a ping-pong tornament on an island. However, Daytona's skills have grown lax; thus, he is taken to China Town to meet a blind ping-pong master named Wong(James Hong), and his neice, Maggie Wong(Maggie Q). After the training, he is taken to the island to participate in the tornament, where main antagonist, criminal lord Feng(Christopher freakin' Walken) enforces a "sudden death" clause on the proceedings: if a ping-pong player loses a match, he is killed by a poison dart, courtesy of Mahogany(Aisha Tyler).

Anyway, since we're not talking about the movie itself, let's cut to the chase: Feng kidnaps Maggie Wong and forces her to play against Daytona...and that's where we finally get to see what was advertised on the freaking poster...Maggie Q in a hot Chinese dress. In all honesty, that the only reason I paid 7 bucks to see the film in the theatre.

What gets me, when I occasionally think about this film, is what a waste it was. Really, did we need Dan Folger and George Lopez in all the scenes? Did we really need a freaking ping-pong movie? What this movie should've been about is Maggie Wong beating the snot out of Feng's criminal this cool film here:

Now that would have been worth the dollars! Seeing Maggie Q going Game of Death-style on Terry Crews, Aisha Tyler, Jason Scott Lee, and a final insane battle with Christopher Walken...that's the movie i wanted to see!! It's really a simple concept, Hollywood...Maggie Q is a hot chick who can kick butt and take names:

She also has American exposure with Mission: Impossible 3 and Die Hard 4. Why can't we get a film with just her kicking ass?

Here's the Trailer:

No comments:

Post a Comment