Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Guilty Pleasure: Attack Girls' Swim Team Versus The Undead

Awesome. In one word, this movie was simply awesome. Watching this with my brother and pending brother-in-law was the real treat, though. Watching this with any audience is where the bulk of the fun lies, although the movie is over-the-top enough to be enjoyed alone as well. I picked this up from my anime video store, and instantly fell in love with the cover. There are hot Asian girls. In swimsuits. With weapons. Versus the Undead.

And who says marketing doesn't work?

It seems that there is a new label and/or distributor in America called Switchblade something, which is distributing the film to us. The other offering is some military flick with hot Asian chicks...but i find the swimsuit-wearing monster killers very much more enticing.If you don't know by simply reading the title, Attack Girls' is B-movie cheese at its best.

The story is summed up in the title, although its more like Aki(the main character) Versus The the bulk of the Swim Team is easily dispatched by a hot Japanese English Teacher zombie with a kitana in the span of five minutes...and that is no exaggeration.The story is about a new girl in school called Aki...the silent, brooding type, who, upon mere minutes on setting foot on school grounds, is pushed into a pool by the girl who would be her future best friend.

Meanwhile, the Swim Team of the title is preparing for a meet, and many of the students around the school are suddenly getting sick. The coach, a reject from Rival Schools with his hamtacular look and kendo stick, smacks(yes, i'm not kidding) a ill girl around, trying to force her to prepare for the meet.Anyway, a vaccine is issued out at the school, and most of the students are innoculated. Meanwhile, Aki takes a shower(showcasing her lovely assets in the process) after her involuntary dive into the pool. Sayaka, the girl that pushes her, begins to bond with more ways than one, if you know what i mean. They become best friends initally...then lovers.

My mouth literally dropped when i saw just how far these two "enjoyed" their friendship. Meanwhile, the sickness assaulting the school escalates...and soon, students and teachers are transformed into zombies. Watch one teacher, while lethargically explaining a math problem, turns into a samurai zombie of death...but instead of kitanas, this guy is using a metal ruler to cut off his students' heads. When he confronts Aki later on, this scene has to be seen to believe: the guy juggles two rulers and an apple, easily catches the rulers and take a bite out of the apple.As the zombies rampage, Aki, Sayaka, and a few of the Swim Team Girls confront them.

We learn at a tender moment(before Sayaka and Aki make-out) that Aki is a trained assassin...a "water assassin", trained by a guy who kept her as a sex slave and could manipulate her sex drive with a flute. This explains Aki's sharpened combat skills(even though, being Japan(where the martial art schoolgirl is a stock character), I thought it wasn't necessary) which figures into most of the major battles in the movie.As i mentioned before, the title should be Aki versus The Undead...The Swim Team barely lasts more than five minutes, and they aren't even named or developed. It's like watching Transformers(the 2007 movie), and instead of Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, and the other named and developed Autobots fighting the Decepticons, we get Optimus doing all the work, while the other Autobots are rendered scrap by Frenzy of all things.

But when they finally make their appearance, it is fun and funny at the same time: they essentially rip off their clothing, dub their swim uniforms their "battle uniforms" and rush out for kick zombie ass. Of course, as i mentioned before...they were easily jobbed by the English Teacher with a kitana.

Besides Zombie Samurai Teacher and Crazy Zombie English Teacher, another twist happens introducing another villain to the tale. This is where we finally get to see Aki don the "battle uniform". And man, this fight has to be seen to believe: razor-sharp nose guards and flippers with blades in them are Aki's choice of weapons in battle.I found this movie to be entertaining, and fun. Disappointed at the lack of screen time and development for the rest of the "Swim Team", but Aki's and Sayaka's "friendship scenes" as well as the very crazy things at the end makes up for it.

Here is the trailer(WARNING:Contains mature content):

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