Just Awesome Cinema: Tidbits- 9/15/12

Its been a while here at the Dusty Video Box since I've last posted. Mainly, its because of my work as a genre author; I've been trying to actually single out which project I'm going to tackle over the next few months. Anywho, as I've mentioned beforehand, I'm finally published in "Aliens Among Us" from Pulp Empire..."Blackout '77" by Melvin .L. Hadley(that's me, baby).

But enough bragging. I'm still hitting the cinemas as usual, on the prowl for celloid goodness. I've also recently...ahem...checked out Redbox. Yes, I checked it out. I'm desperate for my fix of straight-to-video slashers, and since there is no Blockbuster and Hollywood Video to get them, I have to settle for some automated dispenser. Whatever. So expect a return of "A Big Sack" soon, a look at straight-to-video horrors.

Alright, here is what I've watched over the last few weeks:

The Dark Knight Rises: I never liked the name, but I adored the movie. Five Stars. A tour de force unlike no other, and I'm not parroting critics. Its the ultimate cinematic crafting of a superhero legend; while Avengers gave us the ultimate superhero fantasy, I will argue that Christopher Nolan and his team gave us the ultimate crimefighter story(at least, so far). Telling the end of Bruce Wayne's(Christian Bale) journey from his start in that muck-filled alley, standing over the body of his dead parents, the film picks up eight years after the last film, with a practically crimeless Gotham celebrating their martyred "White Knight" Harvey Dent, who had essentially locked up the bulk of the criminals. Meanwhile, Bruce Wayne has become a recluse, seen as eccentric by his fellow billionnaires. However, a chance encounter with cat burgular Selina Kyle(Ann "Impressive" Hathaway) sets off a chain reaction that results in the return of the Dark Knight and an encounter with his ultimate opponent, the malevolent Bane(Tom Hardy). A+++++ is the grade for this wonderful masterpiece, superceding its genre trappings.

The Possession: It is funny to watch this film and realize that the main protagonist is the Comedian from Watchmen(Jeffery Dean Morgan). Here, he is a high school coach, and more importantly, the father of two girls, teenager Hannah(Madison Davenport) and ten-year-old Em(Natasha Calis). He is also recently divorced from their mother, Stephanie(Kyra Sedgwick), who seems to be a hippie of sorts...demanding Clyde(Morgan) to remove his shoes when he enters the house for example. Already on the edge from the divorce, Clyde and his daughters are soon taken to the next level of anxiety when Em finds and purchases a mysterious box at a yard sale...which turns out to not be filled with Playboy mags. Soon, Hannah is beseiged by moths, and Em is hearing haunting voices, experiencing violent mood swings, and becoming extremely obessesive with the box. And no, our hero doesn't think it is simply hyperactivity. The film takes its time to build atmosphere, and it has okay scares. However, never been a big fan of possession films; I'm more of a slasher geek. Grade: B

The Expendables 2: Chris Hemsworth seems to get quite the demotion...from the godly member of the Big 3 of the Avengers to the sort of kid sidekick for the all-star action crew, the Expendables. And yes, it is all an action movie fan can ask for. Bringing back the cast from the original, including Gunner(Dolph Lundgren), Stallone leads his merry men this time against rival merc Jean Vilian(Jean Claude-Van Damme) for vengence. Besides Hemsworth's energetic sniper Billy The Kid, our heroes are also joined by easy on the eyes Maggie Chan(Yu Nan), originally to retrieve a device for government agent Mr. Church(Bruce Willis). However, when the mission goes south, Chan joins the pack. Other gems include a return of Mr. Trench(Arnold "I'll be back" S), and the introduction of "lone wolf" Booker(Chuck "Ultimate Badass" Norris). The first and last action sequences are the greatest. There are only two detriments for me: Jet Li was not in it as much...and I expected more from the final fight between Van Damme and Stallone. Don't get me wrong, it was not bad...just that my expectations were extremely high. Grade: A.

Resident Evil: Retribution: I f******* love this film series, and while it has its detriments, you can't deny that it is a fun-filled adventure to enjoy. And let me say it here: Resident Evil fans(of the games) are truly justified in the hatred of the films, as they do not resemble their source material at all. I always make the joke that if Alice were in any of the games, they would simply be Devil May Cry, because Alice shares similiarities of Dante, the games' protagonist...including the need to dispense asswhuppings stylistically. Anyway, this film, which wonderfully resurrects characters from the first entry (Michelle Rodriquiez's Rain Ocampo), sees Milla Jovovich's Alice captured by the everpresent Umbrella Corp in an huge underwater base, and having to escape with the help of sexy former Wesker operative Ada Wong(Li "Hotdamn" Bingbing). They track through spacious weapon testing enviornments, each a copy of world famous cities(and one cliche "Surburbia"), along an escape route. Meanwhile, rushing to meet them in a group of soldiers, led by Leon S. Kennedy(Johann Urb) and Luther West(Boris Kodjoe, from the last installment). Various enemies from the game series appear, including the Las Plagas soldiers from Resident Evil 4. As a fan, I truly enjoyed the film, and had no problems with it. Sure, its more popcorn than cerebral, but the films(and the games that inspired them) are also all-genre inclusive: we have zombies and zombie outbreaks, but also an evil, omnipresent corporation with their own faceless soldiers, and a evil computer(The Red Queen), trying to wipe out humanity. Grade: A.

Just Awesome Cinema(For Me): Sleeping Beauty(2011)

I have to admit, I get a kick out of calling a particular DVD retailer and asking about this film. Every time, without fail, they direct you to the Disney version, with Aurora, Prince Charming, and the evil Maleficent. Well, let me be the first to tell you...this ain't a Disney film. There is no Prince Charming, no Maleficent, and the eponymous "Sleeping Beauty" is as far from one dainty, virginal princess as one can get. She chuckles when the idea is considered that her vagina is a temple; she admits that it is far from a holy site.

Thus, one of the reversals revealed within the Australian film Sleeping Beauty. The Beauty, played by the wonderful Emily Browning, is named Lucy. From the opening credits, Browning's character Lucy contrasts the innocent roles she's portrayed up to this point, such as Babydoll and Anna: she participates in a strange clinical study testing her gag reflex(a doctor or such sends a long tube down her throat and injects air in her chest), does cocaine, instantly has sex with a man she meets in a bar, and avoids paying rent at a friend's house where she is staying. We are taken through Lucy's life as a college student, working various odd jobs, and dating a guy named Birdman(Ewen Leslie). From the various scenes, I could only gather that our heroine is complacent with her life, and wishes for something more. What that is is never explored.

The main plot begins to take root when Lucy answers an ad from Clara(Rachael Blake). If I squint my eyes and ignore the rest of the film, it would have been a perfect scene from a grindhouse flick; in fact, this is one of the scenes displayed prominently in the trailer. Basically, when Lucy meets Clara, she is told to strip, and, along with Thomas(Eden Falk), her body is inspected for imperfections. She is then told the parameters of the job: she is to participate in silver service in lingerie for wealthy clients. Clara outlines to Lucy that there will be no penetration; Lucy could care less, and even welcomes the opportunity.

That earned a chuckle from yours truly.

Fast forward to Lucy entering a plush mansion, where she meets the lead waitress...who tells Lucy that her lipstick has to match...her, er..."special place". She is soon dressed in skimpy white underwear, serving elderly rich people, along with older, sexy babes in stark black underwear, with their breasts OUT. She earns her first paycheck, and soon, Clara presents an escalation of the present deal: at Clara's private mansion, Lucy will be drugged into a deep slumber, and rich clients will have their way with her.

Meanwhile, Birdman, who seems to be suffering from drug use, gets worse. Lucy has three encounters with rich clients, all while naked and vulnerable in slumber. The first man(Peter Carroll) simply wants "all his bones broken" and sleeps with her. The second man(Chris Haywood) uses cigarettes in an act of sexual sadism. And the third man(Hugh Keays-Byrne) seems to have watched either WWE or love old adventure serial posters...cause he carries Lucy's slumbering body around the room, and then slams her on the bed.

Soon, 'ol Lucy is getting scared, discovering a mark on her body, and begs Clara to tell her what is going on. Clara refuses to share the truth of the encounters, thus prompting Lucy to buy a micro camera, swallow it, regurgitate it before her slumbering session with the first man again, and setting it up to film said encounter. The film ends when a horrified Clara, thinking Lucy is dead, quickly performs CPR to awaken the "Sleeping Beauty". Lucy wakes up, looks around, and starts screaming. The reason? I don't know. Yes, the first man is dead besides her, but it does not look like she is screaming in terror. She strikes the bed, which implies anger. So...again...I don't know WHY she is screaming.

I will admit, I have a bias towards the beautiful Emily Browning...not to mention, she has GUTS. To bare your whole birthday suit, without batting an eye, and participating seriously in some of the outlandish things Lucy was subjected to in the three encounters says a lot about this young woman. My hat is off to this awesome actress, who doesn't stoop to using body doubles(I'm looking at you, Lohan and Frieda Pinto), but gets out there and shows herself, honestly. And that says how seriously she takes her craft.

That being said, the film...my thoughts on it is...as a grindhouse aficionado, I felt that a perfect opportunity was wasted. Judging the film without Browning, on its own merits...it seemed pretentious to me. I know, I know, the filmmakers weren't trying to make it this way, that they had a message to get across...but I missed it. Granted, it wasn't all fanservice...for your shots of Browning and the other beauties in skimpy lingerie, you had the three encounters consisting of a naked and vulnerable Browning with wrinkled, equally naked old men. It definitely was not a have-your-cake-and-eat-it-to moment for yours truly.

The film seemed to drag at times as well because of its artsy focus. Before the first encounter with the slumbering Lucy, the First Man launches into a long ramble with Clara about a story of when he was 30 years old, and how he had a book, and how he wants his "bones broken". I was laughing because Clara seemed to reflect my thoughts at the time..."what is up with this old man, and can I get on with my life?"

Then, there was Lucy. We don't get to see much about her. She seems to go through life bored, and seems to do the things she does for the hell of it. She does drugs, sleeps with guys left and right, and finally serves as a toy for wealthy old men. Hell, the only time she seems to care about herself is after the second encounter with the sexual sadist, and feeling the cigarette burn left after. Even then, she doesn't do anything until the end. I don't think your audience will find her relatable, just frustratingly one-note.

The film is definitely shrug-inducing. It lacks the fun of Sucker Punch, or a defining twist like The Uninvited. I would go so far to say that the "artsy" focus was a huge detriment, but that is my very personal view. The reason I say this is that it had the potential to be like a exploitation film...Lucy being trapped in the claws of wealthy elderly guys, who hold her in sexual bondage, and forcing her into sleeping fits. Yeah, I know this isn't for everyone...but this film TEASED so many exploitation elements, it was very frustrating to see that it refused to go all the way.

I consider Emily Browning to be my Danny Trejo. You know how Robert Rodriguez made "Machete" because he met Trejo and considered him like a Mexican version of an action hero? I wish I was a powerful filmmaker at the moment; I would consider Browning to be like my Tiffany Shepis or Linnea Quigley...an cinema heroine of horror and other types of genre films. I would love to write the movie with Emily battling a chainsaw cult(like Quigley in Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers) or matching wits with a masked killer(like Shepis in Nightmare Man).

Anyway, the film itself gets a C.

Big Tidbits - 3/24/12

It's been quite a while since I've updated the 'ol blog, mainly because I was pretty busy trying to penetrate the short story market. I've decided to give it up. I'm really terrible with short stories, anyway; don't let people tell you that writing them is easy, because they are not, let alone trying to sell them. My big plan was to introduce my "franchise" characters within the stories until later when they are properly introduced within the novels proper. However, with no one wanting to buy them, I've decided to hang this part of my master plan up.

However, I will continue Wedding Blitz if more people are interested. The character of Gossamer/Mariah Grey plays a giant role in my future novel, and stupidly, I took the risk of introducing her freely to the internet. But hey, if it can get someone reading the story, its cool, right?

Work and research continues on my first novel. Originally, I wanted to write a novella series concurrently with the novel, but I decided that my confidence was not up for the task. Also, I don't think there would be any buyers without name recognition. Thus, novella series banished to the backburner. And to probably give you an example of what a hard sell it could possibly be, it involves lesbians(in a fantasy exploitation vibe) and lots of bizarre erotic situations. Can't risk revealing more...Mariah Grey is enough.

I plan to start the novel in May. I still have tons of research to cover, as well as building the fantasy world infrastructure.

And man...I'm waiting for Sleeping Beauty with Emily Browning. It's a film from her native Australia about her as a college student named Lucy, who basically ends up in a position as a sex worker providing services to clientele by falling asleep(hence the title) and letting them have their way with her.

And she gets naked.

I've been lusting after this gem since it came out at the Cannes Festival last year. I'm a huge Emily Browning fan...I'm possibly infatuated with her. She has gusto, man...going from the spectacular exploitative siren that was Babydoll to displaying her pixyish birthday suit in Beauty. Yeah, I know the movie is supposed to be for the artsy crowd, but I could care less. I have a confession to make...Emily Browning inspired the main character in that novella series I mentioned earlier. Call me a creep, a pervert, whatever...but Browning, in my selfish, low-brow opinion, would have been awesome as a genre actress...like a scream queen, battling monsters and showing them who is boss.

Well...I can simply write the novella series later on with my take on this Aussie goddess.

Speaking of scream queens, I plan to break out my Tiffany Shepis movies soon. I have The Hazing and Nightmare Man on tape, and I hunger for more. But with no Blockbuster, I have no more access to this wonderful woman:(. I definitely plan to write her in a horror film of my own one day.

On the big screen front, John Carter was awesome. It was somewhat surprising that Disney would release a movie filled with so much violence and mature themes. I only say somewhat because they did release Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time a few years earlier. Although not grindhouse gory, this did come from a company whose main live-action forays were duck sports teams and singing princesses.

Anyway, the film introduces us to the titular character, created by Edgar Rice Burroughs, who also gave us that "crazy white man" as Richard Pryor puts it, Tarzan. One of the fabled inspirations of Superman, John Carter begins with our hero, a shell of a man after fighting for the Confederacy in the Civil War, somehow encountering a strange man within a cave. After dispatching the man with a well-aimed shot, Carter is teleported to Mars(revealed by the various natives to be known as 'Barsoom') where he develops astonishing leaping abilities and superhuman strength.

He is soon caught up in a new civil war between the various factions of Barsoom, including the city of Helium, where Princess Dejah Thoris resides. If you are a fan of Star Wars, this film touches the same vein that makes Lucas's galactic fairytale so special. It's not just a space hero story, but has that combination of genre elements that conjures a unique presentation. Just as Star Wars drew inspiration from chanbara(samurai cinema), John Carter draws from Westerns. It is very fun to watch. Here is hoping that there will be a sequel!

I apologize for the brief blurb on the movie. I'm going to admit it, I'm being lazy at the moment.

It Came From The Video Store!: Red Hook(2009)

An agoraphobic college student, a scavenger hunt across NYC, and a killer in only a University of New York hoodie are the awesome ingredients weakened in this sub-par, predictable slasher film with a Dawson Creek-esque soundtrack. It does have its moments, however few.

The Front Row: Jenny(Christina Brucato) is a new freshman at the University of New York with a dark past: as a child, she watched helplessly as her older sister was murdered by a uniformed police officer. On her first day on campus, she meets Angela(pronounced AnGELa and played by Hollis Scarborough), her drama major room co-habitor; rude and high-minded journalism student Paula(Karla Mosley) and her "lackey"(Alex Brightman), stereotypical blond Camille(Karissa Staples), her boyfriend(Brian J. Smith) and his romantic rival, Higgenbottom(Debargo Sanyal), obvious hot lesbian Deena(Frankie Shaw), and potential love interest Gavin(Tate Ellington). This lovable cast is soon embroiled in a scavenger hunt, courtesy of Tim(Bryan Fenhart).

Box Of Whoppers (The Delicious): Some of the dialogue is pretty funny, whether its Jenny admitting that she is scared of AnGELA when the latter posts a note to not come into the room until 6:45, or Deena admitting she likes chicks that are "bigger". There are also a good tiny twist involving a hold-up at a corner store. There are also some good scene-setting shots of the good 'ol Big Apple.

Sticky Floors(The Nasty): Red Hook...is frustrating predictable. Sure, tons of my favorite slashers, like Andre The Butcher, are predictable...but there is always some kind of hook that transforms the film from mudane to fan-favorite for me, like the all-around goofiness of the film and the cheerleaders. Here, there is nothing; The hoodie killer's identity is so obvious from the second he is introduced that you would want to strangle someone for not following up with a mandatory twist. Hell, I was praying for one here.

While I enjoyed some of the quirks of the cast, the exploitative hound in me would have loved for a lesbian relationship to spring between Deena and Jenny, instead of the simple teasing...that would have been that "hook" for me. Of course, this shouldn't be a detriment for the average fan.

See Trailer:

Just Awesome Cinema: Capsule Reviews - 11/14/11

I have to apologize...been very busy, trying to put together my novel, among other real life things that occupy us. After a few weeks, I thought against the idea of continuing The Syndicate of Carnality, although in its place, I'm thinking about writing a one-shot rebooting the Overmaster Wars franchise...bringing back Overmaster Wars: Resolute. A few months ago, I was against the idea of more Overmaster stories, mainly because I was worried that it would take attention away from my novel. But, more on that later; I'm here to talk about movies!

• Immortals: It seems that the unreliable narrator of 300(the same studio produced both) told this mishmash of Greek Mythology, which is supposedly focused on Theseus's legend(famous for the labyrinth and the Minotaur). However, only names are lifted from the ancient source material, and, similar to the Clash of the Titans remake that preceded it, is so far distorted that it could easily be considered an original Greek myth in and of itself. Also, just like Titans...the so-named "Titans" do not resemble their mythological counterparts in the least. The film tells the story of Theseus's(Henry Cavill)conflict with King Hyperion(Micky Rourke), a Conan-esque warlord conqueror who searches for a magic bow that can free the so-called Titans from their prison in Tarturus. Meanwhile, a small cadre of Greek Gods(contrasting with their 12-member counterparts, the Olympians), lead by Zeus(Luke Evans) try to stay above the conflict, hoping that the humans will have the initiative to solve their own problem. If you ignore the fact that the myths are not followed...the movie is pretty fun. It tends to be formulaic at times...King Hyperion as an evil tyrant who castrates his men, tortures virgin priestesses, and sends giant barb-wired wearing bullmen reminds me all to much of the villain of the last Conan film, which I hated. But, the fight scenes were awesome...and I swear, this is the first time I've seen a knock-down, drag out, brutal throwdown with the Greek Gods(well, half of them) going all out. Usually, you'll simply have them sitting around, discussing the affairs of men like at an immortal social club. But here, Zeus and his tiny crew of random deities get down, cutting down the "Titans". I should talk more about this film...maybe I will. I give it a C+.


• Puss In Boots: It was funny to learn that this was a prequel to the Shrek franchise. I don't know...I thought judging by this film, the Cat in those leather boots could make a good character to hold a franchise of his own. Voiced by Antonio Banderas, Puss's film focuses on his origin story, rising from an orphaned kitty, to a local hero, and later a disgraced champion, while in a friendship with Humpty Dumpty(Zach Galifinaikas). Still bitter at Humpty when the two meets again years later, Puss is convinced to join the eggman and his accomplice, "cat" burglar Kitty Softpaws(Salma Hayek), to steal the magic beans(of Jack and the Beanstalk fame) and grow a beanstalk, scale it, and steal from the Giant's Castle. This film is much darker than the Shrek films, and seem to have concepts and jokes aimed at an older audience. For example, Jack and Jill(yes, the pair that went up a hill) are gangsters, and Jack...wants to settle down and have kids. In the end, this movie is wonderful, and fun for the whole family. A+.

Real World Commentary - 10/5/11

It's finally happened...and I've already doomed myself by celebrating it. I now have my own Internet connection! Thus, I will be able to keep Dusty Video Box updated way more often, like my heroes at HousetoAstonish! Of course, since I'm hard at work on my first novel, the features will come slow, but as long as I have some sort of Information Superhighway connection, I will provide as many distractions as I can!

What's coming up is more personal Dusty Video Box Presents, reviews on superhero comics on the stands, and more movie reviews. I have, for example, Savage County to talk about. And then there is a planned Awesome Cinema feature on Bitchslap! Between that spectacular exploitation nugget of goodness and Sucker Punch, it has been an exquisite film year for yours truly so far. Now...if I can only get a good cheerleaders versus cannibals movie...

Anyway, let's kick off this occasion with a few bulletpoints:

• I'm planning to start reviewing superheroine videos on this blog as well...well, as soon as I can afford the funds. It makes sense really...as a writer, I specialize in superheroine stories, so why not review them? Also, these videos have a grindhouse feel to them. I'll be hitting up Ultimate Superheroine Forum for producers, as well as checking out sites like Project: Superwoman, Supersexyheroines.com, and Goddess Cinema.







• Speaking of Ultimate Superheroine Forum, I sort of put together a story called The Syndicate of Carnality: Original Sin, based on the heroine characters of The Wrath of Ward. Essentially, the story is sort like a #0 issue of a comic series, or a television pilot for test audiences. I haven't recieved any feedback on it; however, I'm thinking of maybe writing a chapter or two on the story, which will be much tamer in the vein of Overmaster Wars, as opposed to the rated-XXX stuff that took place in the original stories. Also, look for a "sketchbook" of sorts on the characters in Dusty Video Box Presents.

And Now...Comicbook Rants:

• The New 52: Looking through DC Comics' New 52 free catalog, one cannot help but shudder on multiple levels. First, the mass rebooting, on the heels of DC's quiet summer crossover, Flashpoint, which surely had more fanboys than yours' truly throwing his or her arms in the air in disgust. No more Lois Lane/Clark marriage! All of the heroes are young and naive again! Sigh. The only two books I've purchased out of the 52 so far is Green Lantern and Justice League. Lantern continues where the last series left off, which is kind of confusing with the rest of the general direction of DC's linewide imperative. Are we going to see a reintroduced origin for "Highball" Jordan as well? And my gosh...Stormwatch? Static Shock? DC has always had a tradition of absorbing heroes from defunct companies into their fictional world, but that isn't always a good thing. Just look at the Big Red Cheese, Captain Marvel...where is he now? At the bottom of the barrel.







• Spiderman is Another Race: Give. Me. A. Break. We're talking about ULTIMATE Spidey, an alternate universe counterpart of the mainstream one. Apparently, the original Ultimate Spidey died in battle, so another person has assumed the role...a half-hispanic, half-black teenager named Miles Morales. Please. Yes, this is something to be celebrated, as a non-Caucasian character obtains the spotlight; yet, this is hollow, as we are talking about an alternate universe. If Marvel really want to take strides, to have big brass balls, then let's see you do that to Spidey in the mainstream universe! Let's see Miles Morales in that Spiderman film reboot, and let's see him fighting alongside the Avengers! Until then...don't waste my time. I also find it funny that while Ultimate Spidey is coming out with a cartoon series, Miles won't be the main character. The Caucasian Spidey will be.

Further Sucker Punch Comments and Other Movie Tidbits - 4/7/11

If you haven't noticed by now, I've fallen in love with Sucker Punch, a film that literally plays to all of the tropes in my own stories! So, you can imagine how disturbed I was to see all the venom and hate spewed at this wonderful film by "professional" critics, too lazy to get off of their own asses to actually watch the film with an unbiased eye. It says a lot about our present civilization where a film with scantily-clad, but strong female warriors is judged harshly before it can get out of the gate good. Honestly, was Inception judged so harshly? A group of well-dressed men run across ceilings. Sounds stupid, doesn't it? And yet, for some reason, Inception was given immediate respect even before the film was out in theatres. Meanwhile, Sucker Punch is roasted because it has a sexy heroine in a schoolgirl outfit slicing up giant samurai. Mentioned out of context, it might sound silly. However, in context of the film, it makes perfect sense. Then again, it would make sense out of context anyway, because in all honesty...Sucker Punch is anime, through and through. As a guy who has crawled his way through the anime trenches over the years, I found it cool that Zach Synder had another reason for his great heroine story, something about how these women, despite their oversexualized costumes and trappings, persevere and save themselves from misogynistic evil. I admire that. I really do. But Snyder didn't have to work that hard:). All he had to do is point at the anime medium, with its beautiful female warriors, who, despite their sexy outfits, are more powerful than any man. Also, despite overwhelming fanservice, you'd be surprised by the actual stories behind the sensationalism. For example, the Witchblade anime might have heroines and villainesses in skimpy armor, with big breasts and sexual hinting out of the frame...but it also has the theme of motherhood and the importance of having a mother in one's life. Ikki Tousen, another anime, might have big breasted heroines in tiny school uniforms beating the clothes off of each other, but the central story is also about fate...how one goes about either accepting and fighting it. And that's another thing that bothered me when people would complain about this movie...video game references. I'm not saying they aren't there, but to me, that's far too limited a comparison. If anything, Sucker Punch was drenched in anime homages and nods...Emily Browning's Babydoll was more of a callback to Saya from Blood: The Last Vampire(complete with katana) and Mikura(from Mezzo Forte/Mezzo, complete with girlish pigtails and gun), the rest of the girls(in the second-dream reality) seemed like they shared costume and fighting tips with the crew from Daphne In The Brillant Blue and the Dirty Pair. The dream mission set in WWI reminded me of Hellsing(when they are fighting against the zombie German soldiers), and Amber's mecha with the bunny face could have originated in Sakura Wars or Power Dolls...geez, look at all of this good stuff people are missing out on! Anyway, again Snyder, Browning, and the rest...good job. The film may not ever get respect with the mainstream, but really...who fucking cares? Wanting a sequel to this film is selfish...but I would at least want an anime tie-in, ala The Animatrix or Batman: Gotham Knight...maybe a prequel showing Baby's life before she was stuck in the asylum. Anyway, other tidbits:

• Battle of LA: This movie is what it says on the tin. Okay, that's not being fair. It is an alien invasion movie, ala Independence Day, but with Marines as opposed to the Air Force. From my understanding, the same FX studio who did the bland Skyline did this film, thus the similarities. Basically, Skyline ripped the Battle:LA folks off or something like that. Anyway...I'll give this movie a B-. The plot is entertaining, basically focusing on a group of marines in combat with the aliens on the city streets of LA, when they initially go on a mission to retrieve innocents caught in the invasion. The characters are your usual stock fare...even though I liked Aaron Eckhart's main character's burden with losing men on a previous mission in Iraq. Anyway, while this movie delivers some good war action, I found the antagonists to be...well, boring. While I hate Skyline, I really liked the creativity of the aliens, using human brains as CPUs to power their giant Cloverfield-esque mechs and other monsters. I just felt that would have brought a lot more fun to the proceedings, as opposed to bland aliens with fire guns. I also found it funny that Michelle Rodriquez was yet a soldier once again...she's a tough broad, but shouldn't she play other roles once in a while? And one more thing...where was the homage/nod/mention of the "real" Battle of Los Angeles?


• I might go see Hanna. I might. While I love tough heroines, I also like a healthy helping of fanservice. Hey, at least I'm honest, lol. Wait...the actress is sixteen? Oh, damn...er, wow, look at the time...


• Waiting on Thor, Fast Five, Green Lantern.

Just Awesome Cinema: The Green Hornet

When I first heard about Seth Rogen's involvement with The Green Hornet, my reaction was far from favorable. After all, we're talking about lovable heavyweight Seth Rogen, the guy who made his mark on the comedy Knocked Up, and whose darkest film, Observe And Report, was a movie so disturbing(one gag involved his character, for all intents and purposes, raping an unconscious Anna Faris) that it felt sort of guilty laughing at the jokes. But, if anything, while comedic in its wrappings, The Green Hornet provides a chewy center of action at its core.

The story is your typical superhero origin tale, and I'm not trying to sound negative about it at all. Britt Reid(Seth Rogen) is your typical rich heir with no day job, whose entrance into the story as an adult is heralded by an appliance being hurled through a balcony glass door. The family business he is heir to is the Los Angeles newspaper, the Daily Sentinel, ran by James Reid(Tom Wilkinson), Britt's hardcase father. Our hero is in no hurry to inherit his duties, and thoroughly enjoys his life of leisure, although he is reluctant to admit that he is directionless. When his father dies suddenly under suspicious circumstances, Britt is suddenly given the reins to his father's newspaper empire. He also meets Kato(Jay Chou), a mechanical genius and martial arts master, who was his father's mechanic. The duo become fast friends and, seeking revenge on Britt's father for various misgivings in the past, decide one night to, in disguise, deface a statue of him given by the city.

This one exercise in mischief creates the genesis of the Green Hornet legend.

Meanwhile, a powerful crimeboss named Benjamin Chudnofsky(the awesome Christoph Waltz) has taken over the Los Angeles underworld, but one thing eludes him: why does no one fear him? After concieving the idea of the Green Hornet, Britt decides to use the Sentinel in a masterplan to push the masked hero as a criminal, in order to bait Chudnofsky into a confrontation. He hires Lenore Case(Cameron Diaz), who holds a degree in Criminology, as a secretary, using her knowledge as ideas to boost the Hornet's criminal reputation. Meanwhile, District Attorney Frank Scanlon(David Harbour) pursues Britt, because of the newspaper's focus on the Hornet's unstoppable reign of crime is making him seem inadequate to the public eye.

The Green Hornet is a fun movie, although the 3-D aspect is non-existent and a waste of extra money. Seth Rogen is funny, and one can tell that he really slimmed down for the role. Jay Chou is awesome as Kato...and while comparisons to Bruce Lee is expected, I think he rather did good simply as the masked partner(possibly the only partner of a superhero who overshadowed the main character!), and I loved the idea of the script drawing attention to the fact that he doesn't actually have a super-codename. While the rest of the cast was great(the Jew-Hunter as the main villian!!!!), its easy to overlook the third major character of the piece...sorry Ms. Diaz, i'm talking about the tricked-out Black Beauty! I've only seen three episodes of the old show, but man, I don't remember all of those wonderful toys in it!

I'm sure there are people out there that wanted a "serious" Green Hornet film, ala Dark Knight. What can I say? They have merit. However, the only complaint I truly have about this film? The Flight of the Bumblebee wasn't used hardly. It was used in Kill Bill, for goodness sake! But here? Only some crappy hip-hop remake. Talk about gag inducing!

A Big Sack: 11/22/10

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Just Awesome/Mediocre Cinema Tidbits

I have to admit, I haven't been updating this blog in the way that I would really want to, which is probably every week at the most. Thus, I've seen tons of movies over the last few months and haven't really reported on them. It might seem that I don't have a life because I'm a constant at the theatres in town, but think of it this way: since I don't drink, I don't go to a bar, so going to the movies is the equivalent of a place to hang out.

So, here are a list of movies I've seen over the last few months, and my thoughts on them:

• Red: The marketing campaign for this film should be "Old School Is Cool"...or maybe "Don't disrespect your elders". You have Bruce Willis, one of the greatest badasses in cinematic history, leading a crew of equal badasses like Morgan Freeman(c'mon, Lean on Me and Wanted?), Helen Mirren(who gives me that Jennifer Mui(Mercenaries) vibe) and John Malkovitch(who shoots a blanking missile with a gun! A freaking missile with a gun!!) against Karl Urban(Bones from the new Star Trek?) and the CIA. The office fight between him and Willis's character is easily one of the funniest(as far as sheer brutality and application of wrestling moves) i've ever seen. A awesome action film that has that offbeat feel and humor, similar to Kick-Ass, imo.
• Jackass 3-D: One of the most honest film franchises I've ever seen. Really, if you go to this film expecting a quality product...you are stupid. Jackass also teaches a vital life lesson: with the right opportunity, you can make money off of ANYTHING. Johnny Knoxville, Wee-Man, and crew are back, with a few new faces(like the big guy), displaying funny stunts and antics. Highlights include the Rocky gag, where a person sneaks behind someone with a glass of water in one hand, and a boxing glove in the other, splashes them with the water and punches them simultaneously, a tether ball with a hive of bees. The gag-inducing crowning achievement involves Steve-O, a porta-potty, solid waste, and bungee cords. You get the feelings while watching that these guys are probably tired of the stunts, and want to move on...at least, that was the vibe I was getting.
• My Soul To Take 3-D: While not at all as bad or horrible as Prom Night, My Soul wasn't...as good as I thought it would be. The Wes Craven production starts with a killer with seven multiple personalities(incorrectly attributed to schizophrenia, when it is really dissociative identity disorder) who is killed on the same night seven infants are born prematurely. Sixteen years later, the seven infants, who have formed a group of sorts, begin to get picked off, one by one. The problem with this movie was there was too much focus on the soap-operish school antics, which I wasn't interested in, although I did like the concept of Fang(Emily Meade) running the school(which reminded me too much of anime). Another problem is that the 3-D was a crock...it is barely there, and imo, I really didn't care for it anyway. And last but not least, the Riverton Ripper was barely the focus of the story...thus, he was not memorable in any way. Mediocre cinema at best.
• Scott Pilgrim Versus The World: I think a movie that you can't put in a box, i.e. is so strange and different that it provides its own experience, is a good thing. And Scott Pilgrim provides this in spades. Micheal Cera, as the title character, is a slacker musician, trying to make it into the big time with his band, when he falls in love with anime-haired Ramona Flowers(Mary Elizabeth Winstead), despite the fact he is dating Knives Chau(Ellen Wong)(and with a name like that...I wouldn't think about cheating on her!). Of course, that is not the big problem. The big problem is Ramona's ex-lovers, who have formed a league to fight him! While there is the video game motifs that shape the world of Pilgrim, I got a bigger anime vibe from the proceedings...from the idea that Scott and nearly everyone knows martial arts, to things like fire-wielding powers, teleportation, and super-speed are treated as a casual aspect of life. This is an awesome movie, A+.
• Catfish: I went to this film by accident. Since I was waiting on a friend to see The Social Network, I had two hours to waste. I saw the advertising of Catfish in the theatre lobby, and initially got the impression that it was sort of like Blair Witch or The Last Exorcism, a faux-documentary-type of horror or thriller film. Little would I realize that the film had more than enough relevancy with Network, making it the perfect double feature with the subsequent film. Catfish is a supposely real-life documentary about a young man who, after becoming friends with a young painter over Facebook, falls in love and becomes romantically involved with the painter's older sister. However, after weeks of romantic exchanges, subsequent investigations of the older sister would yield a terrifying, but realistic twist: the "older sister" is someone else entirely. Essentially, the film explores the trials and tribulations of online dating and relationships. Sometimes the very person you see in that Facebook profile...can be someone else entirely.
• The Social Network: I see this film as pure inspiration. Mark Zuckerberg is one of the richest people on Earth, and according to the film, Facebook originated simply as something else to spite his girlfriend! Just like in my Jackass entry, I'm just pointing out that one can make money off of ANYTHING. Anyway...this film is a wonderful drama about the founding of Facebook, and the character exploration of founder Mark Zuckerberg, whose deadpan intellectual putdowns would make Lelouch jealous. And Brenda Song grows up, imo, from her role as Tweety-Bird heiress of the Suite Life franchise into a psycho girlfriend of Zuckerberg's best friend and business partner, Eduardo Saverin(Andrew Garfield)...of course, that is oversimplifying her character. By the way...this is a David Fincher movie. Just saying.
• Piranha 3-D: Save your money. Yes, you get naked chicks, goofy story, and goofy characters. But, no ending, and as my friend pointed out, the pickest monsters this side of the Predator; they don't consume all of their food, just taking out small chunks here and there. Kudos for making an explantion for the now fictional portrayal of piranha...but still, not enough to save this movie.

Lil Tidbits - 6/21/10(Contain Spoilers)

Today, I've decided to go for another type of format: the quick review. I've seen a bunch of films lately, and wanted to post stuff about them here. So, drum roll please:

• Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time: Starring Non-Persian Jake Gyllenhaal(just saying) and my new crush, the beautiful and underrated Gemma Arterton(Clash of the Titans' Io)...seriously, she is underused in my opinion. Anyway, it is based on Playstation's Sands of Time Trilogy, and bits and pieces of the games are sprinkled throughout the narrative. Yes, we gets some great bits of parkour, like the first game(the only one I've played so far), but no sand demons to suck the magic sands from(because that would have obviously made the film's quest too easy...not that it was easy, but I digress). Anyway, the film excited me, not because it was based off of the games, but because it was made by the union of Walt Disney/Jerry Bruickheimer, the same minds behind the awesome Pirates of the Carribean franchise. Anyway, the story is formula in a sense, where two clashing personalities, Prince Dastan and Princess Tamina, have to go on a journey after a series of unfortunate circumstances involving an invasion of a holy city accused of producing weapons of mass destruction(wow, that doesn't sound familiar, doesn't it?), the death of Dastan's adopted father, the King of Persia(branding Dastan falsely as the murderer), and...ostrich racing. I'm not kidding. While fun, the film suffers from not really providing any memorable script-wise, and while there is at least one shocking scene involving Dastan and one of his adopted brothers, the supposed big twist about the King's brother? Saw that coming miles away. This movie rates a B-.
• Karate Kid: As an African-American, I have to be honest: The Karate Kid of the Reagan Era wasn't trained in Kung Fu. HA! Thought I was saying something else, did you? But, I have to be fair here...I'm boycotting The Last Airbender because of the insulting white casting, so this Jaden Smith vehicle(starring the son of megastars Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith) can't really be let off the hook...or can it? After all, Dre Parker(Jaden Smith's character...and that's a cliche' black name if I've ever heard one) is an entirely new character to begin with, different from Italian Daniel LaRusso(Ralph Macchio). Instead of the Okinawan Mr. Miyagi(Pat Morita), we have the Chinese Mr. Han(played very well by Jackie Chan), and the setting is Beijing, not California or Okinawa. So in essence, we have only the bare elements of the original films...and in this case, that is usually what should be used when making these remakes...tell entirely different versions of classic stories. Still, I'm also of a mind of this film simply being its own franchise, the Kung-Fu Kid(ironically, this is the name it is given in China). On the film itself, I thought it was pretty good, and honestly, I think the martial art scenes, battles, and training easily top the original source material. Granted, the fighting was jazzed up for modern audiences(and ironically, the age of the characters shrink), but I don't remember the original Karate Kid movies being that fast and furious. All the actors were wonderful. Still, I found the Tekken/Street Fighter-esque tournament at the climax to be a little over-the-top(COMPLETE WITH REPLAYS WWE-STYLE!). My grade for it is B+.
• Toy Story 3: Woody and his shrinking gang of toy pals are back in this spectacular second sequel to the Toy Story franchise. The "shrinking" reference is to the fact that prominent supporting characters from the previous installments are missing, like Little Po Beep and RC. The story itself veers screaming into dark territory, dealing with the inevitable repercussions of approaching adulthood and its effects on toys. The gang, already abandoned in Andy's wagon train trunk at the beginning of the story, are given the rather bright options of lanquishing in the attic or being disposed in the trash. A third option is thrusted upon them when they are taken to Sunnyside Daycare, benevolently ruled over by Lotso...which is revealed to be a prison of sorts. Woody and the gang has to escape the Daycare before Andy leaves for college. Just like in the previous entries, Toy Story 3 explore a facet of the secret life of toys, in this case, what happens after we grow older and turn to the opposite sex, paying bills, and video games. Easily the darkest of the series, and I'm not even talking about the daycare and its rampaging toddlers. My grade for this is A+.
• The A-Team: This film is an example of a perfect Summer Blockbuster...style-over-substance, popcorn fun that should not be shied away from as much as the critics want filmmakers to do. Starring Liam Neeson(who kicks ass in Taken), Bradley Cooper(the @****** friend in Hangover), Quinton Jackson(Rampage, fool), and Sharlto Copley(@****** from District 9), they are the eponymous A-team; this film is an origin story for them, showing how they initially got together, became an army unit, was court-martialed(i.e "the crime they did not commit"), make their escape, and try to fight to regain their innocence. Jessica Biel, sexy as freakin' ever, is one of the agents chasing after them. I thought this movie was awesome. I did not expect some deep exploration of the human condition here...I mean the show, from what I remember, was no different. I give this movie an A.